Long distance relationships

I started writing this post a few years ago, but never completed or published it. Now I find myself in the very position I had wondered about and it seems truly ironic.

I have always wondered how long distance relationships survive. I mean I consider North-South London or Lagos Mainland - Island long distance let alone when it is people living on opposite sides of the globe with a considerable time difference.

So first of all, there is the absence of physical contact, and on top of that, there may be a time difference. So, for a considerable length of the time, one party ought to be asleep, the other one is up and about leading naturally to one of many things.

•  The couple has even less contact. Or 
•  The sleep time of one party is sacrificed; which brings me to the all-important question. "Whose sleep should it be that is sacrificed?"
• Suspicion

The paranoia sets in. One or both parties become suspicious. Otherwise, little things get blown out of proportion. One party seems unreasonable to the other, and vice Versa. The couple generally becomes overly sensitive, and maybe even drift apart. Does it ever work out? How does it work?

~ Missy

The Debt that is Life...

Tuesday, August 16th, 2016 is a day I will never forget for two reasons. First, it is my mothers posthumous birthday, and secondly, I received the most devastating news of the passing of my cousin Osaretin Odaro Oyewumi.

I can't begin to describe the shock I felt on receiving the news. This was not meant to happen, my cousin was a fighter. I was so sure we would celebrate victory over this as we had done before.

My heart is broken. My heart bleeds. I can't sleep at night, not as a result of fear or anything like that, my mind just refuses to shut down. I keep trying to make sense out of this tragedy. Suddenly, everything seems to remind me of you. Just this afternoon, I saw my colleague reading a document upside down placed on her table by another unsuspecting colleague and it reminded me of you; of how you told me you always turn over any document on your table once someone walks into your office because you possess this very skill and we laughed about it.

I am struggling to express my emotions on your sudden passing. This also reminds me of the time when I had a robbery incidence in my house many years ago. You reached out to me even though I hadn't informed you of it myself. You said "Isoken I know you must be in shock and probably feeling traumatized. You need to let it out, whatever it is you are feeling. Scream if you feel like it, cry if you feel like it but you must let it out; and when you are done, you have to pick yourself up and get on with life!
You were my cousin, my big sister, my friend, my confidant. I knew for sure that I could always count on you. Now suddenly, so suddenly you are gone. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, not that I would have accepted that I had to, but it hurts so so bad. I wish I could have sat with you, and held your hand, and told you how much I love you. How much you mean to me, how much you affected my life. I am so grateful for the memories. Those can never be taken away from me. I know that you are at peace now. You lived a good life sis and for this, I am truly thankful.

~ Missy

New Chapter

What better day to return to one of my great loves…writing.

It is a typical Monday morning in the city of Winnipeg.Those who know, know!

It has been such a long break and so very much has happened since. My family has grown, I lost a dear cousin, I changed jobs, and then I had two HUGE life-changing experiences which instructed my move to another country. Yes, I moved to a new place; a country much farther and certainly much colder than anyplace I have ever been. It has been a huge experience I tell you that.

I first visited Canada three years ago and I loved it! I had no plans of moving here though, I just liked it. Mind you, I visited in springtime, and even then, I thought it was cold so imagine my reaction to negative temperatures when I eventually moved here last October. I also moved to one of the coldest regions! Believe me when I say it was quite a rude shock. I had previously thought “oh but I have experienced winter elsewhere before, how bad can it be?” hmmm…. Big misassumption. I never imagined that I could feel and even endure such cold weather. I also hear that the summer is boiling hot! We would have to wait and see.

So my first shock was the weather. The second one was how seemingly cold the people are. Now I have so far not experienced any obvious form of discrimination, but the way people just keep a straight face or totally meet your gaze and then look away was quite a surprise to me. Every other English speaking country I have been to is somewhat different. So a work colleague, for instance, would say hello when they see you, or at least offer a smile. Even people walking past on the street acknowledge you somehow. Not so here. They see you, meet your gaze, and without a word, just look away. Okay! This will take some getting used to, as I am certainly not quite used to it just yet. 

For the most part, it has been good though, I really cannot complain. Another adventure has begun, a new chapter is open, and I will be keeping you posted. For the moment, I AM BACK!

~ Missy

Police

I know I haven't been on here for a while but I need to give you this gist.

I saw the weirdest thing yesterday when I went to do my grocery shopping at Spar. So there I was minding my own business - as usual, Lol when I suddenly ran into a policeman fully dressed in uniform. You are wondering what he was doing right? Okay, he had a shopping list in his hand and was pushing a trolley with some supplies inside it. Next to him was a small statured Asian woman giving him orders and pointing things out for him to pick up. Hmmmm...... so shopping for expatriates don join police work? Okay na. Omo wahala deyyyy *in P square voice*

I tried to get a picture, I really did but he caught me. And as  you all know, me I no like wahala o least of all from Naija police. So I just shook my head and went about my own shopping. May God help us in this our country.

Perfect Wash and Go

Wow am I excited! After 3 years of making do, I finally achieved the perfect wash and go and discovered the secret. Like I always say, "know your hair". I have just discovered that my hair really doesn't like lots of product especially creamy stuff. I cringe at the amount of money I have spent on all kinds of product especially creamy stuff because I had this notion that they must be more nourishing hmmm....

365

It's my birthday yay!!! The year has gone by so swiftly wow where did the time go??? This past year was very eventful, thankfully more highs than lows. I would say it was a good year and I have so much to be thankful for. The joy, the excitement, life, new life, new beginnings, lessons learnt. My absolutely adorable nephew was born! Definitely the highlight of my year. There were beautiful beginnings, and unfortunately some sad endings. When all is done, love and compassion trumps everything else. There are always extras that we wish and hope for but we must never forget to appreciate what we have and what we are now.I am truly thankful. I am thankful for life, for good health, for family, good friends, and LOVE.

I pray for peace and progress in Nigeria. It is possibly if only we are willing.


 I am ever so grateful that I am still here, still standing and looking forward to the next 365 xx

Adieu Madiba

The news broke last night (Dec 5th 2013) that the great Nelson Mandela had passed on and the news was greeted with so much tributes. I wonder how many of our "leaders" would enjoy such in the event of their passing.

Madiba lived a truly fulfilled life. A man who was unjustly imprisoned for 27 years and on his release harboured no apparent bitterness or animosity for those who caused his suffering. Such a person in my opinion has got to be a saint. He lived and fought for humanity.

In the words of the US president Barrack Obama, "let us praise and give thanks for the fact that Nelson Mandela lived - a man who took history in his hands and bent the arc of the moral universe towards justice.

 Journey on great one, I am indeed honoured and grateful to have shared this world with you. May your beautiful soul rest in peace.

Hair Update

I took out my weave today and did a length check. I usually do so by a method called 'shingling'. This is achieved by raking gel through the hair to define curls. I know I should really measure the length using a tape or something but I really cant be bothered so here are the results before and after drying (shrinkage). Feel free to compare with older photos. See pictures after the cut.

Asylum

I have just read with horror, a seriously distressing story in the UK Guardian See story here and Here about a Nigerian asylum seeker
being forcefully deported. Even more distressing are some of the comments on the forum. I know we are all entitled to our own opinions but men; I am stunned all the same.

I am really torn on this matter. First and foremost, I do not believe that any human being should be treated in this manner regardless of the situation and moreso when he has not been found to be a dangerous criminal. I mean his claim may have been a bit bogus and all (Boko Haram) but it just seems to me like excessive show of power was employed against this individual. The home office went as far as getting a chartered plane and got him on board the plane using a stretcher!

Speed

I can't believe it's December already. This year went by so quickly. I am grateful to God that I'm still here, still standing. Now let the countdown begin!! Woohoo!!!

Hair update

I said before that braids would be a no no for me (well tiny braids) right? However, the weather in Lagos has been so hot and humid that I am unable to deal with the frizz so I've found myself looking for a protective style. Braids are always the obvious choice. It's about the most practical thing to do right about now. Then I remember my last experience.  What am I to do???? :(

Well the last time, I had 2 strand twists. So this time, I decided to get 3 strand medium sized braids. We would just have to see how it goes.  It's day 4 today. So far, so good. See pics from this and the previous one after the cut.

Social Media Exposure

We probably all know that by being on social media platforms, we invariably expose ourselves but I personally do not consciously realise just how much.

There's this lady I follow on Twitter and instagram. I don't know her, never met her. I follow her because I think she's a brilliant mind. She is VERY good at what she does and she inspires me. From following her on instagram, I get to see pictures of not just herself, but her friends and family too. She lives partly in Lagos and partly in Newyork. I learnt from instagram that she is currently in Lagos and a friend of hers is visiting Lagos at the same time too so fancy my amazement when as I was driving out of a supermarket in Lagos (Lekki) yesterday I lock eyes with this friend of hers waiting to use the ATM machine. Wow! I felt like a private investigator watching an unsuspecting target (cheaters comes to mind. Lol) It was so surreal. I kind of felt naked. It really got me thinking....

Toll drama

So a while ago, the Lekki - Epe expressway in Lagos was expanded and improved in a partnership between the state government and a private company and tolling was introduced for the first time on an intra city road. This development was received with mixed feelings from my humble self and many other residents of the area. I personally did not believe that it was good idea to toll the road when it was an existing structure and no "proper" alternative was offered. That is not to say that believed it was feasible, afterall everyone who goes into business does so for the purpose of making a profit. However I thought the toll could have been easier on the pocket. Anyway tolling began at midnight on the appointed day amidst heavy armed guard. A few days later, residents of the area came out to protest the "perceived" injustice. Amongst them were a bunch of high profile individuals. They made their point (I think) but sadly, achieved

Sad sad Monday

Yesterday Monday the 18th of November turned out to be a very sad day for me and I'm sure many other Lagosians as there was a terrible accident along the Lekki - Epe expressway which claimed the lives of four little children. A water tanker apparently lost control and crushed the children standing on the pavement waiting to cross to the other side of the road.
I heard the news in the afternoon after I had just driven past the scene of the accident without realising that anything of the sort had happened there. The news reported That residents of the area were angry and blaming the government for not haven provided a pedestrian bridge. Well, while I agree that a road of that size should have one, it must bd said that these bridges are not used where provided. I remember last year I think on new year eve, a friend of mine witnessed an accident just by the pedestrian bridge by the Jakande roundabout on the same road where a woman attempting to cross the road was runover and killed. The driver didn't stop.
I believe that what we need is education on the danger of crossing such roads and also a deterrent for would-be violators.
My heart goes out to the families and friends of those children and all who have been affected by this unfortunate incident. May the souls of the departed rest in peace, amen.

Eva Alordia "this & that"

Okay I don't even know who this chic is but I stumbled upon this clip this morning and it cracked me up. I hope you enjoy it too...

Watch "Eva goes Beserk on NEPA - Makeup This and That gone wrong" on YouTube

Hair Update

So I seem to have ignored my own advice of not putting pressure on your edges.

I thought it would be a great idea to braid my hair because of the unbearable heat that we have been enduring in Lagos lately so when I saw my friend's absolutly fabulous braids, I thought yeah, I have to do same. I thought I knew the drill - I usually do. I asked the braider to leave my hairline well alone and I thought she did. It took eight hours and the result was reaaaaally nice. Practically everyone commented. Unfortunately, as the days went by, I noticed that my baby hair was being pulled off! (horror!!) I tried to take down those on the first line but with every one I took down, I noticed my hair coming off with the attachment :( I tried my very best to manage it but the braids were so tiny that even beyond the hairline, there were issues. So after one week of haven endured the eight hour process of installing, I had to sit my ass down and take it all down. All by myself! My hair did take a beating but I at least have learnt a valuable lesson. My hair will NEVER be ready for tiny braids.

I'm not certain I have a picture because I was too busy taking them down one after the other, but if I do find a picture, I will be sure to update. One of the damage caused as well. Bottom line is, know your hair!

Customer Service The Arik Way

Hello sweethearts, it has been quite a while since I last wrote. For those of you who enjoy reading this blog, I sincerely apologise. Sometimes life just takes over but I'm back now...yay!! Lol.
It took Arik Air annoying me to breaking point to bring me straight back but hey I'm here that's the important thing.

So I was on the 1pm Arik flight from Abuja to Lagos today (being exactly a week ago...sorry). Haven missed my flight yesterday, I decided to go early to the airport. I got to Abuja airport at about 11am. There was a flight scheduled for 11am, another one for noon and then mine at 1pm. Seeing as I was so early, I asked if it was at all possible to change my flight for the one at noon. I was assured that there were no seats left on that flight and so I was checked in for my 1pm flight. At check in, I was informed that I would be required to identify my luggage at the foot of the plane before boarding. I thanked the guy and went on to the lounge for the two hour wait for the flight. So far, no problems at all.

Some of my favourite things

Thought you might like to know....

• High heels (yeahhhhh)
• Lip gloss
• Mascara (cant leave home without it)
• Travelling
• The smile/chuckle of a baby
• All things clean and tidy
• Fine wine
• Shopping
• Intellectual discourse
• customers who pay cash! lol
• Being driven
• Hanging out with family
• Music
• A well behaved and well dressed man
• Well behaved children
• A good sense of humour 
• Old photographs
• Fast internet and youtube!

There's more....but I'll leave you with these. Ciao...

Something for the boy

A new LG shop just opened near where I live in Lagos and so I went to check it out. I had been needing to get a new fridge anyway.

I got there and quickly found what I was looking for - the shop is nicely laid out. Having identified the product I wanted, I called the attention of an assistant to put the purchase through. Again it was pretty straight forward. I walked with the girl to the payment desk, made the payment and got the receipt. The same assistant then handed me a sheet of paper to write down my address and phone number for delivery.

Are Nigerians too docile?

Remember the Mutallab underwear bombing saga? I have always been of the opinion that were it a Nigerian carrier on a direct flight from Lagos with mainly Nigerians, the attempt would have been successful. Some agree, others don't. The reason why I hold this opinion however is very simple; the average Nigerian, - in my humble opinion - is a coward.

I was on an Arik Air flight last week from Lagos to Benin. After a slight delay - never mind the commotion to check in - the doors finally closed and the crew began their demonstration on safety measures. To my utter amazement, mid sentence another crew member walked up to the guy carrying out the demonstration and whispered something. He immediately stopped and without any explanation or hesitation, walked towards the cockpit and picked up something that looked to me like a phone -