Long distance relationships

I started writing this post a few years ago, but never completed or published it. Now I find myself in the very position I had wondered about and it seems truly ironic.

I have always wondered how long distance relationships survive. I mean I consider North-South London or Lagos Mainland - Island long distance let alone when it is people living on opposite sides of the globe with a considerable time difference.

So first of all, there is the absence of physical contact, and on top of that, there may be a time difference. So, for a considerable length of the time, one party ought to be asleep, the other one is up and about leading naturally to one of many things.

•  The couple has even less contact. Or 
•  The sleep time of one party is sacrificed; which brings me to the all-important question. "Whose sleep should it be that is sacrificed?"
• Suspicion

The paranoia sets in. One or both parties become suspicious. Otherwise, little things get blown out of proportion. One party seems unreasonable to the other, and vice Versa. The couple generally becomes overly sensitive, and maybe even drift apart. Does it ever work out? How does it work?

~ Missy

The Debt that is Life...

Tuesday, August 16th, 2016 is a day I will never forget for two reasons. First, it is my mothers posthumous birthday, and secondly, I received the most devastating news of the passing of my cousin Osaretin Odaro Oyewumi.

I can't begin to describe the shock I felt on receiving the news. This was not meant to happen, my cousin was a fighter. I was so sure we would celebrate victory over this as we had done before.

My heart is broken. My heart bleeds. I can't sleep at night, not as a result of fear or anything like that, my mind just refuses to shut down. I keep trying to make sense out of this tragedy. Suddenly, everything seems to remind me of you. Just this afternoon, I saw my colleague reading a document upside down placed on her table by another unsuspecting colleague and it reminded me of you; of how you told me you always turn over any document on your table once someone walks into your office because you possess this very skill and we laughed about it.

I am struggling to express my emotions on your sudden passing. This also reminds me of the time when I had a robbery incidence in my house many years ago. You reached out to me even though I hadn't informed you of it myself. You said "Isoken I know you must be in shock and probably feeling traumatized. You need to let it out, whatever it is you are feeling. Scream if you feel like it, cry if you feel like it but you must let it out; and when you are done, you have to pick yourself up and get on with life!
You were my cousin, my big sister, my friend, my confidant. I knew for sure that I could always count on you. Now suddenly, so suddenly you are gone. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, not that I would have accepted that I had to, but it hurts so so bad. I wish I could have sat with you, and held your hand, and told you how much I love you. How much you mean to me, how much you affected my life. I am so grateful for the memories. Those can never be taken away from me. I know that you are at peace now. You lived a good life sis and for this, I am truly thankful.

~ Missy

New Chapter

What better day to return to one of my great loves…writing.

It is a typical Monday morning in the city of Winnipeg.Those who know, know!

It has been such a long break and so very much has happened since. My family has grown, I lost a dear cousin, I changed jobs, and then I had two HUGE life-changing experiences which instructed my move to another country. Yes, I moved to a new place; a country much farther and certainly much colder than anyplace I have ever been. It has been a huge experience I tell you that.

I first visited Canada three years ago and I loved it! I had no plans of moving here though, I just liked it. Mind you, I visited in springtime, and even then, I thought it was cold so imagine my reaction to negative temperatures when I eventually moved here last October. I also moved to one of the coldest regions! Believe me when I say it was quite a rude shock. I had previously thought “oh but I have experienced winter elsewhere before, how bad can it be?” hmmm…. Big misassumption. I never imagined that I could feel and even endure such cold weather. I also hear that the summer is boiling hot! We would have to wait and see.

So my first shock was the weather. The second one was how seemingly cold the people are. Now I have so far not experienced any obvious form of discrimination, but the way people just keep a straight face or totally meet your gaze and then look away was quite a surprise to me. Every other English speaking country I have been to is somewhat different. So a work colleague, for instance, would say hello when they see you, or at least offer a smile. Even people walking past on the street acknowledge you somehow. Not so here. They see you, meet your gaze, and without a word, just look away. Okay! This will take some getting used to, as I am certainly not quite used to it just yet. 

For the most part, it has been good though, I really cannot complain. Another adventure has begun, a new chapter is open, and I will be keeping you posted. For the moment, I AM BACK!

~ Missy