The Debt that is Life...

Tuesday, August 16th, 2016 is a day I will never forget for two reasons. First, it is my mothers posthumous birthday, and secondly, I received the most devastating news of the passing of my cousin Osaretin Odaro Oyewumi.

I can't begin to describe the shock I felt on receiving the news. This was not meant to happen, my cousin was a fighter. I was so sure we would celebrate victory over this as we had done before.

My heart is broken. My heart bleeds. I can't sleep at night, not as a result of fear or anything like that, my mind just refuses to shut down. I keep trying to make sense out of this tragedy. Suddenly, everything seems to remind me of you. Just this afternoon, I saw my colleague reading a document upside down placed on her table by another unsuspecting colleague and it reminded me of you; of how you told me you always turn over any document on your table once someone walks into your office because you possess this very skill and we laughed about it.

I am struggling to express my emotions on your sudden passing. This also reminds me of the time when I had a robbery incidence in my house many years ago. You reached out to me even though I hadn't informed you of it myself. You said "Isoken I know you must be in shock and probably feeling traumatized. You need to let it out, whatever it is you are feeling. Scream if you feel like it, cry if you feel like it but you must let it out; and when you are done, you have to pick yourself up and get on with life!
You were my cousin, my big sister, my friend, my confidant. I knew for sure that I could always count on you. Now suddenly, so suddenly you are gone. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, not that I would have accepted that I had to, but it hurts so so bad. I wish I could have sat with you, and held your hand, and told you how much I love you. How much you mean to me, how much you affected my life. I am so grateful for the memories. Those can never be taken away from me. I know that you are at peace now. You lived a good life sis and for this, I am truly thankful.

~ Missy