Frenemies

Some say we all have a friend we secretly hate.....

In this era of social media and its attendant abbreviations and acronyms, this sort of friend is what is referred to as a " Frenemy"

These  friends are only interested in the negative around  you. Where there is no negativity, they are happy to create. They light up only when you are unhappy. They come around you as much as they possibly can and yet, they do not wish you well; often time they cant even stand you. To your face, they proclaim love and support for you  and yet behind your back, they wish you pain and suffering.When something goes wrong in your life, they celebrate. When something goes wrong in their life, they blame you! They are never interested in sharing happy times. They try to manipulate you at every opportunity. And then there are the ones who only want to take, take, take and take some more. They take but do not appreciate.They may even ridicule you in your kindness.

This is not the same thing as having a friend gossip behind your back, no. This individual does not like you!

I cannot help but wonder if all of this drama is even worth the energy that is invariably put into it. I mean if you do not like somebody why would you want to expend so much energy and time on the same person? If  nothing else, I see it as a form of cowardice. I personally, am one who would rather speak my mind. I say it as it is! Regardless of how pleasant or otherwise ( I just can't help it. Lol)

Some people might rush to assume that this problem is peculiar to women. Believe me when I tell you, nothing can be farther from the truth.

I read somewhere that someone who hates you normally does for one of three reasons. They either see you as a threat, they hate themselves or they want to be you and I am in fact inclined to believe this.

MRS....

How much are you willing to endure for this title?
Some women I know endure humiliation, abuse ~ physical as well as mental, torture, you name it! Just to get the man to marry them and when he does, guess what changes; NOTHING!
A friend of mine once came to me complaining endlessly about her husband and the short comings of their relationship ~ financial and otherwise. She painted a terribly sad picture of her relationship so much so that I was forced to ask "well, why did you marry him?" Her answer ~ as honest as it was, it absolutely shocked me. She simply said to me "I was desperate!" Now I cant claim to have all the answers but in my opinion, desperation has never and would never be a good reason to enter into any sort of contract.

Now lets flip the coin. From the man's perspective, while you were dating, you bent over backwards to accommodate him, you accepted everything he threw at you, you were cool with his bad behavior ~that's possibly why he thought it might not be a bad idea to marry you ~ and then as soon as the deed is done, you want him to become something entirely different simply because he took you on a walk down the isle; isn't that just a bit unreasonable? Women generally do this because they believe strangely that he will change. At this point the guy is totally confused thinking 'oh my God she has changed!' LOL!!!

A lot of these women sadly are married in name only. Some of said marriages are in fact conducted more shabbily than room mate arrangements; which prompts me to ask 'is it always worth it?'  Agreed people get married for many different reasons but if one does not achieve happiness in the union what is the point? (I'm assuming that happiness is paramount in the life of every living being) Yes I know some very happy married couples but even a larger number of terribly unhappy ones. Some go further to say that life with any man is bound to be miserable anyway so why not take the most financially rewarding offer...
Maybe if we were all a bit honest with our own selves, it just might make it a little easier. A good starting point will be knowing what you are getting, and then realizing that it is what it is, then accepting what you got, and lastly make the best of it and live with it.

On the other hand, I come across people who are happily single (ironic eh?) and yet the married ones will go to extreme lengths to impress upon them several reasons why they need to get hitched ~ is that because misery loves company?