Some of my favourite things

Thought you might like to know....

• High heels (yeahhhhh)
• Lip gloss
• Mascara (cant leave home without it)
• Travelling
• The smile/chuckle of a baby
• All things clean and tidy
• Fine wine
• Shopping
• Intellectual discourse
• customers who pay cash! lol
• Being driven
• Hanging out with family
• Music
• A well behaved and well dressed man
• Well behaved children
• A good sense of humour 
• Old photographs
• Fast internet and youtube!

There's more....but I'll leave you with these. Ciao...

Something for the boy

A new LG shop just opened near where I live in Lagos and so I went to check it out. I had been needing to get a new fridge anyway.

I got there and quickly found what I was looking for - the shop is nicely laid out. Having identified the product I wanted, I called the attention of an assistant to put the purchase through. Again it was pretty straight forward. I walked with the girl to the payment desk, made the payment and got the receipt. The same assistant then handed me a sheet of paper to write down my address and phone number for delivery.

Are Nigerians too docile?

Remember the Mutallab underwear bombing saga? I have always been of the opinion that were it a Nigerian carrier on a direct flight from Lagos with mainly Nigerians, the attempt would have been successful. Some agree, others don't. The reason why I hold this opinion however is very simple; the average Nigerian, - in my humble opinion - is a coward.

I was on an Arik Air flight last week from Lagos to Benin. After a slight delay - never mind the commotion to check in - the doors finally closed and the crew began their demonstration on safety measures. To my utter amazement, mid sentence another crew member walked up to the guy carrying out the demonstration and whispered something. He immediately stopped and without any explanation or hesitation, walked towards the cockpit and picked up something that looked to me like a phone -

Is age really just a number?

Quite a number of my friends have recently turned forty. Some celebrated, some just let it slip by quietly, and   some were actually shy about turning forty. The shock of it though is that a few of those who were shy about it, were guys!! I mean what is the world turning to? Lol 
I mean I've had cases of women who were my seniors in secondary school who have now convinced themselves and are trying to convince me that I am older than they are, (yes o) but never guys. Let's not even start with the Naija celebs who constantly LIE about their age. That one is a matter for another day.

So here I am excitedly planning towards mine - still a few years away, thank you very much! - with my friends who are same age as me. It has become some sort of project for me. I keep asking everyone how they celebrated, or intend to celebrate. Recently, I met up - separately - with two of my male  friends who have just turned forty and

The salon experience

I had worn my hair out for a few weeks and decided to get a protective hair style in for a bit. There's this curly, natural looking extension I usually wear which I install myself. So, I'm sat at home getting my hair done when a friend comes by. He sees me doing my hair myself and at first cannot believe it. He then moves from disbelief to wonder - he wonders why I take all that trouble; would it not be easier and maybe faster to get it done in a salon? He goes a step further to say that I am being stingy and don't care about the survival of the people who do it for a living! (buahahahaha!!) I found that sooooo funny.... but it got me thinking. I am indeed very particular about how my hair is handled (even more so since I've begun to keep it in it's natural state) but I thought maybe

Letter to my Mother

My birth mother

Dear mum,

Today you would have been 68 years old. I never had the pleasure of knowing you because you passed on when I was barely a year old, but only good stories/reports and memories abound. Oh how I would have loved to share your beautiful life with you. I would give anything to have that even now.
I am told I look just like you. I took after you in everything. Not a day goes by that I do not think about you and how it may have been so different had you lived long enough to be my mum today. I cannot honestly say that it is for the best, but I do believe that every single thing in life happens for a reason so someday I may appreciate the reason why you had to leave so early.

If indeed you are able to look down on me, I hope that it is with a smile and that you sometimes feel pride when you do. It has not been easy but I have learnt to carry on (not that I have a choice anyway)
Continue to rest with the almighty as I have no doubt that you are an angel.

Daycare

Daycare in Lagos particularly has probably become a necessity as we now have more working mothers compared with the time when I was of daycare age (I'm not revealing my age don't bother! lol)  I doubt that there was anything like that in my time. These days, mothers need to spend long hours at work and are left with two choices; either leave your child at home with a relatively unknown child minder/house keeper or send the child to daycare where you expect that competent people are on hand to watch over them.

A few years ago, a friend of mine just got a new maid to care for her three year old and for no apparent reason, she didn't feel comfortable with the girl so she decided to install CCTV cameras in her flat. On the very first day

Lagos Taxi

I just remembered an incidence which happened a couple of weeks ago. Hmmm... I had to go out as a matter of urgency and I didn't have my car so I hitched a ride with a friend and planned to take a taxi back home. I would usually call a cab I had used before - someone I know and am sure of. On this Sunday evening however, I didn't see the need as it was to be a very quick trip and only one way. So when I was done, I came out to the road and hailed a cab. The car looked really old and rickety but I didn't fancy standing on the road (a busy one at that) so I quickly climbed in.

As I sat in the cab I felt like the seat was damp but I wasn't quite sure as it had been drizzling all day so I kept my thoughts to myself. Thankfully, the ride home was rather uneventful. On getting to my street though, literally a minute from my gate, there was a small pool of water which we also successfully crossed and I was delivered safely to my gate. However, as soon as I got out of the car, it became obvious that the seat had indeed been damp and had in fact wet my clothes; so as I handed the fare to the driver, I mentioned to him that his seat was damp. Can you guess what his response was? Lol.....okay okay here is what he said "ah! you no thank God say the car no die for that water" Huh??? Like seriously??? These guys are something else! SMH (shaking my head) Lol

Peace

Stay away from Anger.. It hurts ..Only You! If you are right then there is no need to get angry, And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry. Patience with family is love, Patience with others is respect, Patience with self is confidence and Patience with GOD is faith. Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears... Don't think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear... Live this Moment with a Smile, It brings Cheer. Every test in our life makes us bitter or better, Every problem comes to make us or break us, The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious. Search for a beautiful heart not a beautiful face. Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful. Do you know why God created gaps between fingers? So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever. Never forget this advice! Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keeps You Strong, Sorrows keeps You Human, Failures keeps You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going......Don't ever think you know it all or that you re better than d other person because you do not know what d future holds for that person..........be good at heart!


Culled from Nasir El Rufai's Facebook page. I think its lovely. Enjoy

Perspective

Yesterday, I needed to get my nails done having had them in such a sorry state for a couple of weeks now. (The girl who usually does them has been MIA for at least a week) I happened to be on the mainland so I called my friend who lives on the mainland and always has impeccable nails. My friend gave me a number to call which I did; and with my appointment arranged, off I went to find this hidden guru (she operates from home)

Sat evening in Lagos

My friend is going out of town for a while and so we decide to hook up and catch up. I was given the choice of where to go, and so I picked ABIBIZ; A restaurant and bar which recently opened in Victoria Island, Lagos, owned by a friend of mine. It turned out to be an excellent choice (not that I was surprised though)
The staff are very courteous and eager to help. Not quite like the waiter in Wakkis in Wuse 2, Abuja who actually hit on me (lol) but that's a story for another day.

Words

More and more I have noticed how people tend to arbitrarily interchange words. Personally, I find it quite painful to read. (maybe it's the old age catching up on me. lol)
Well, seeing as we learn everyday, I have taken the liberty to put down my two cents.

Here are a few words which contrary to seemingly popular belief, ARE NOT interchangeable. (This list by the way is by no means exhaustive)

Expectations

'Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them'

I saw the above quote somewhere recently and it got me because for me, it is spot on!
A while ago I decided that in order for me to live a peaceful life, I would henceforth treat everyone in the exact same way that they treat me - I do not have children yet. If I did, it may be different - Anyway, this has indeed helped me greatly. It makes me feel better, even though it still does not protect you when someone who has treated you with kindness and respect in the past, for no apparent reason suddenly turns on you.

I am often amazed at how some of the people who demand the most from you are the least willing to lift a finger for you. Almost seeming like you exist in this world solely for "their" benefit.

When is enough really enough?

So there was a plane crash in Lagos - Dana Airline - which killed all 153 people on board and at least 10 people on ground. We were naturally all shocked beyond description. Shock turned into depression and anger for some and I believe I can say almost certainly that it saddened practically every Nigerian.


It has been two weeks since. There have been religious services held in honour of the departed, there have been TV programmes, there have been articles in the papers and on the internet etc. Well.....now what?


Slowly, things seem to be creeping back to business as usual. We are going back to our normal routine and in no time, something new will happen to completely take our attention and we move on with this incidence only a distant memory....until the next disaster happens to jolt our memory.


Church attacks have become routine; so much so that there is little or no reaction when the news breaks. When would we as a people have had enough and rather than having knee jerk reactions actually do something to stop the menace that has now become life as we know it?


We live in a society where we have to provide for ourselves security, power, water, roads....you name it. A society where people die because doctors are on strike, where someone is attacked by armed robbers and cannot access medical attention because doctors first want to see police report. Where you are trapped in your house by armed robbers and even if you manage to put a call through to the police, they ask you to come and pick them up because they are unable to fuel their vehicles. And yet our lawmakers and other custodians of our common wealth continuously rob us blind. We hear of billions and trillions of naira being misappropriated to the extent that it all seems so incredible.


I was personally heartbroken at the unceremonious collapse of the 'occupy Nigeria' - protest against fuel subsidy removal and bad government at the beginning of this year. I had hoped that it would have been a turning point in the governance of our beloved country but alas...


The sooner we realise that we have to take our destiny in our own hands, shape our future and be willing to pro actively take action to ensure we actualise our dreams, the sooner we will begin to record progress. We have to appreciate that sacrifices have to be made for success to be achieved.


I have since decided to play my own part by doing the little I can not to feed or encourage the monster of corruption in Nigeria. Little things like not giving/offering bribes, obeying the law, paying my bills as and when due, rejecting mediocrity, questioning and speaking up against poor service etc. This may seem small in comparison to the rot in the system but if even 60% of us did this we would without doubt have a much better society.

ESOHE

May 27th is special because it's my sister's birthday.


Esohe my first sister. The one I asked for. I have loved you from before you were born. That was because I desperately wanted a sister to play with; but I have loved you even more since you came into my life because you are the kindest, most loving, caring, giving and positive person I know. You radiate love in all you do. You are such a strong person that I often wonder how you do it. You never allow yourself to stay down. No matter what the world throws at you, you just pick yourself up and keep trudging on. You inspire me in so many ways and I just want you to know that I feel very fortunate that I have you in my life.


I remember our childhood years when we were in such a hurry to grow up! All the fun, laughter, tears and sometimes mischief (lol) Suddenly we are all grown up and living our separate lives, chasing our separate dreams. It now seems like such a distant memory when we would certainly go to bed in the same house and sometimes even in the same room! I remember when we would watch a scary movie and you would beg me to allow you sleep in my room and even though I would have been scared too, I would sometimes be difficult just to make it seem as though I was the tougher one hehehehe... I wish we could go back there even if just for a weekend. I really miss those days.


I want you to know darling that I love you now, and I will love you till the end of time. 


May your new year be filled with blessings more than you can possibly imagine and ALL that your heart truly desires. You deserve it and more xx

Precious Moments

Abuja: June 3rd 2012


I was with a dear friend for about an hour from noon. He had unknowingly or unintentionally annoyed me previously and so when I saw him today I was a bit cold towards him.
He had come to Abuja yesterday to attend a party along with quite a few of his friends. I met up with him just as he was trying to book a flight back to Lagos. He had tried a couple of airlines without luck - including my preferred one 'Dana Air' the flights were all full. The only available flight seemed to be the late evening Dana but that didn't seem suitable because his friend had to be at a function in Lagos at 4pm. The most ideal one would have been the afternoon Dana flight. Even though I know someone who may have been able to get them on the Dana afternoon flight, I just didn't bother making any attempt to help because I was in a bad mood. I sat there with them for a little while and left. Just as I was about to get into the car, my friend asked me what the matter was and I replied saying 'we would talk later'.

I got home and went straight to bed as I was not feeling very well. Only to be woken a couple of hours later, with the news that there had been a plane crash in Lagos - Dana Air from Abuja. Oh my God! My heart sank! I immediately called my friend and confirmed that he was fine but he apparently had two friends on the flight (May their souls rest in peace)

As the evening unfolded and I received calls from friends and family checking for my safety and as I also called friends and family, I began to reflect on what is really important. I thought about the reason for my annoyance at my friend and I realized that it truly did not matter in the least. I wondered how I would have felt had he been on that flight and I had wasted the last minutes I had with him bearing a grudge.

This incidence today has once again impressed upon me the need to focus on what truly matters and to try my best not to waste precious moments.

My heart goes out to the families and friends of all who lost their lives in the plane crash and the bomb blast today. May you all have the strength and wherewithal to bear this terrible loss. 

Frenemies

Some say we all have a friend we secretly hate.....

In this era of social media and its attendant abbreviations and acronyms, this sort of friend is what is referred to as a " Frenemy"

These  friends are only interested in the negative around  you. Where there is no negativity, they are happy to create. They light up only when you are unhappy. They come around you as much as they possibly can and yet, they do not wish you well; often time they cant even stand you. To your face, they proclaim love and support for you  and yet behind your back, they wish you pain and suffering.When something goes wrong in your life, they celebrate. When something goes wrong in their life, they blame you! They are never interested in sharing happy times. They try to manipulate you at every opportunity. And then there are the ones who only want to take, take, take and take some more. They take but do not appreciate.They may even ridicule you in your kindness.

This is not the same thing as having a friend gossip behind your back, no. This individual does not like you!

I cannot help but wonder if all of this drama is even worth the energy that is invariably put into it. I mean if you do not like somebody why would you want to expend so much energy and time on the same person? If  nothing else, I see it as a form of cowardice. I personally, am one who would rather speak my mind. I say it as it is! Regardless of how pleasant or otherwise ( I just can't help it. Lol)

Some people might rush to assume that this problem is peculiar to women. Believe me when I tell you, nothing can be farther from the truth.

I read somewhere that someone who hates you normally does for one of three reasons. They either see you as a threat, they hate themselves or they want to be you and I am in fact inclined to believe this.

SAY NO!

Sadly, it appears to me that drug abuse is on the rise in Nigeria. As I live in Lagos, I ordinarily had assumed that this problem was probably most prevalent here given the fact that it is a commercial hub. I have however recently had cause to rethink that notion.

I spent the last three weeks in Abuja and as lovely, calm and sane as the place is, I happened to notice a seemingly high level of drug abuse. I can’t help but wonder if there is a direct link between the hardship and injustice prevalent in the country and this apparently high drug use.

My friend had told me previously how people in Abuja use cough mixtures containing codeine as a means of getting “high” and how the drug is touted outside pharmacy stores but I thought she was exaggerating. Lo and behold, one evening we had gone to a big pharmacy just round the corner from where I was staying and as we were still trying to park the car, a young boy had come to the side of the car asking if we wanted cough syrup. Surprised, I thought to myself “well I am right in front of a pharmacy, if I do in fact need cough syrup, surely I could just walk in and get it.” So I went in and got what I was there for. Just before I walked out of the door, the curiosity got the best of me and I decided to find out what the little episode outside was really about. To my utmost amazement, when I did ask for a cough syrup containing codeine, I was told that it was out of stock! That left me with only one explanation (at the risk of stating the obvious). It is so high in demand that it has become a scarce commodity. Now is cough syrup so high in demand because there is an outbreak in Abuja?

In Lagos on the other hand, marijuana sales and use seems to be the main activity on most of the beaches where you would typically find people cutting across all social classes smoke it without much ado. I happen to have seen first-hand how drug abuse can affect an individual and so this seemingly sudden scourge causes me to worry for the next generation and the future of our country.

Hair update

Its already been over a year since I did the big chop! (one year and three months) It feels like yesterday.

This morning, a friend sent me the picture below from the early days on my hair journey; I had to LOL!!

 I must say its been very exciting. My friends and family have had nothing but compliments for me (lucky me lol) The one thing that surprises me though is the fact that everyone just takes it for granted that this is a passing phase. They keep saying to me "oh your hair has really grown. It will be so long when you relax it." I initially used to protest and try to explain to them that it is a decision I have taken for the long run but they never listen so these days I just smile.

Like me, everyone is amazed at how quickly my hair has grown, and they keep asking me for my regimen. I tell them the truth, but I suspect that they do not believe me so I'm going to say it here lol.

1. I often wear protective styles e.g braids, twists, and crocheted in extensions. When I do, I keep them in for a minimum of four weeks and a maximum of six.
2. I do not allow pressure on my edges. When I have my hair braided or twisted in the salon, I am very particular (infact I bet I can be described as a pain! lol)
3. I keep my hair moisturized ALL the time with good old oil (be it olive, castor or shea butter)
4. When my hair isn't in a protective style, I wash and condition it at least once a week. Sometimes twice, it depends on how physically active the week went.
5. I always use a leave in conditioner
6. I hardly ever use heat on my hair. I generally let it air dry. 
7. I have never really done a deep condition (believe!) so I cant comment on that.
8. I always put my hair in two strand twists (to put it away) and wear a satin scarf (silk is said to be better but I aint got one lol) over it at bedtime

So there you have it; my hair regimen!

Here are some of my protective styles

 Here are some pictures of my journey so far

And here is my sister. My number one hair inspiration!

So there you have it guys, I hope this has been enjoyable. Please feel free to comment.

MMIA

Murtala Mohammed International Airport Lagos.


It’s always such an experience using this airport. Not necessarily pleasant, but an experience none the less. It has in fact become like a game to me to see how many people I encounter would let me escape without trying to in one way or another to extort money from me or as my friend and travel agent termed it ‘begging with confidence’. Even the airline staff are not left out. I mean every single person from the entrance till you get on the plane, wants you to part with money.

Sometimes it’s funny, but most of the time it’s just down right irritating. So today as part of the security screening process, I put my case on the table to be searched by three different government agencies one after the other. Each of the officials try their luck at begging me for money as usual and I in turn, try to ‘dodge’. Then I come to the last one who happens to be female. As soon as she sees me, she says I look familiar. She didn’t look familiar to me so I really couldn’t help shed light on that. She then asks me where I am from i.e. what Nigerian tribe. As soon as I say to her that I am from Benin, she shows an immediate lack of interest which amused me but I really wouldn’t bother much about it. And then we come to the most important point where she asks for ‘breakfast money’. I immediately say to her ‘nothing today o’ and she goes ‘oooh no wonder your face looks familiar, that’s what you always say to us!' If it wasn’t so sad a situation, I may have fallen down laughing. These people have apparently long lost any iota of shame, self-respect, dignity or integrity. This is obviously the same treatment metted out to practically every user of that airport. Just the thought of it right now, makes me shudder with embarrassment! If they do not care about the image of our beloved country, how about their own images? I can’t help thinking that these are people's fathers, mothers, sisters, uncles, friends, spouses etc. A little self-respect surely would be in order here jeez!!

PARENTHOOD

I wish more parents would take more responsibility in the discipline and upbringing of their children. These days, people seem so eager to have children like its some sort of contest but once the child is born, they seem even more eager to pass on the responsibility to someone else; anyone else!

My most recent experience of this sort happened on a flight from Lagos to London. I was seated in the row immediately behind the first row in the aisle seat and there were two young children (no more than 3 & 5 yrs old) sitting in the two seats next to mine. There was a nursing mother sitting directly in front of me, so I naturally assumed her to be the mother of the two youngsters beside me. I was however later to discover that to be far from the truth.

Crying over spilled milk....

It is incredible how much we worry over situations that cannot be changed. I personally am mightily guilty of this kind of behavior. Something happens or fails to happen and I know with all certainty that the situation cannot be changed; yet I continue to worry. I try to analyze and rationalize the situation. You end up spending more time, energy and emotions and yet yeild no results. I wonder if there is a subconscious emotion that causes this.

I am familiar with the saying "whenever you wake up is your morning" so whats the point crying over spilled milk? Why don't we just get up, dust ourselves and keep forging ahead? In the year just gone by, I have tried to train myself to do just that. I would not say with certainty that I have achieved it completely, but I do know that I am no longer in the place where I used to be. GROWTH!

A Year Older

It's my birthday. Yay!!!

Looking, back on the year just gone by, I can say without fear of contradiction that it has been the most eventful in my life so far. I have been through up's and down's, joy and pain, tears and laughter; so much so that I am a bit surprised that it has only been a year and it all makes me realise how so very fortunate I really am. I have learnt so much and grown so much that I know for sure that I am a very different person from the person I was on this day last year.

Through all my trials this past year, I enjoyed the unwavering love of my family. I have come to appreciate that love truly conquers all. I have come to appreciate that life is a gift, and good health an added bonus - one that should never be taken for granted.

With all of this in mind, I look forward with renewed vigour to the journey ahead.

I may not be where I want to be but I am definitely on course.